crazeecookie's Diaryland Diary

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~*Been A Long Time*~

I’ve been away too long!! I missed you guys and updating everyday. I’ve been having soo much drama lately. Pointless drama at that.

Eric and I. We’ve been okay. We had a pregnancy scare and we got through that fine. ::Thank the Lord!!:: I love that boy with every being of me. But I don’t’ like the fact that he sells. It’s so hard for me...I really want a relationship with him but I can’t. The kind of life he lives is so hectic and right now I need stability. I worry about him as it is now. I can’t have a boyfriend that I talk to sporadically. I love him so much, but I love myself more. And the more and more I talk to him the more and more I fall in love with him. I’m afraid for him. If anything happened to him, I don’t think I could ever recover. The kind of life he’s living by the time he’s thirty he’ll be either incarcerated or dead. And if I had kids with him….I wouldn’t want my father to have a child like that. As much as a I love him, I know I can’t be with him. I want a stable relationship and he can’t give me that.

So I’m trying to move on. I’m kind of talking to my friend Shardel’s cousin, Junior. He is sweet. After like two weeks of me being interested in him, he finally booked me yesterday.

After he booked me, he put his arms around me and told me from now on I was his. I definitely did not expect him to call me, but he did. We talked yesterday and he could not believe that I knew about sports. WTF is that? LOL! He definitely is a little chauvinistic. He told me he refuses to lose to a girl in basketball, but when we play strip basketball [like in Love & Basketball] he might make an exception. He calls me Baby and constantly tells me how sexy and beautiful I am. I saw him all day today. In the morning, before 2nd period. Then he walked me to my locker and then I walked him to his third period class. It was cute. I gave him a kiss on the check. AWW!! Everything between me and him is just so innocent and fun. Then he walked me halfway to my fourth period and then told me bye. Shardel saw us walking together and made this HUGE scene about how cute we look. LOL! She’s so crazy. But I do like him and he’s really sweet. But I still don’t know if he likes me….I’m unsure.

Oh yeah…did I mention that he is in 10th grade? What a blower!!

I missed you guys sooooo much! Leave me some comments!!

With all my thoughts and emotions, Crazee

6:05 p.m. - April 13, 2005

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