crazeecookie's Diaryland Diary

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~*Thinking to Myself*~

I’ve been thinking a lot today. I haven’t talked to Eric in almost two weeks. I’m so damn worried! But I did talk to David (remember him for a loongg time ago?) his best friend this week. I used to “talk “ to him last year and it didn’t work out and I had a big problem with him. But we talked and we cool now and that’s good. I was definitely mad Thursday night when he told me I think I’m the shit. WTF? Well we have one of those relationships where we must go on each other constantly. But he wanted me to do some essay for him and I definitely said I’m charging him $50 to do it and on Friday when I seen him at school we had this conversation:

David You gonna do the favor for me?
Me: For fifty dollars I will.
David: Man, that’s cruddy.
Me: Why should I do it for free?
David: Because you my best friend’s girlfriend
Me: What?!
David: Because you my best friend’s girl.
Me: No I’m not. [starts walking away]
David: Well you about to be.
Me: [shrug and smile at him over my shoulder]

Funny funny. I was so surprised because the night be for he was like, “So what’s up with you and Eric?” and I was like “uh…nothing. We cool.” And he goes, “Yall bought to go together” and I told him we weren’t on that level yet. The weird thing is that Eric told me like two weeks ago he think David like me and we fought over that [we made up though]. And now he’s coming at me like he loves the idea of me and Eric being together. He’s weird.

Man..Eric’s phone is not working and no one picking up at his house. So blown..I was so mad the other day and I had no one to cry to. Lately I’ve been questioning [not denying] my feelings for him. Is it love? Infatuation? Lust? He takes care of my sexual “urges” but I don’t know if he’s even relationship material. I’m pondering…and pondering..and pondering….

“But if he were a song
He'd be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost can not sing it on key”

-Complicated Melody by India.Arie

With all my thoughts and emotions, Crazee

10:00 p.m. - January 22, 2005

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