crazeecookie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~*Time to Move On*~ I haven’t updated in days! Sorry! Nothing really has been going on with me. Yesterday I went to Columbia Mall and I did not buy a thing. I didn’t even see anything that I liked which was surprising. I was very disappointed. I went to DSW and could not even find any flats that even slightly intrigued me. I decided not to call Eric anymore. Ever since I told him I love him, [at like 2 AM on the 19th] things have been weird and that is not what I wanted at all. He seems like he just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. He never follows through on the little things that would make me trust him. For example, I had both Thursday and Friday off last week and I called him both days. He told me he would call me back before he went to work at 5, but I knew he wouldn’t. He proved me correct buy doing exactly what I expected him too. Then I have a problem that whenever I ask him about it he always gives me some excuse. I mean I wish one time that he would just admit that he forgot or that he just didn’t want to call me. Then when I call him at 12:30 or 1:00 he doesn’t answer. And Eric always, always has his phone on. There has only been three times that I have gotten his answer machine, and two of those times were last week. I miss our late night conversations! Now I just stay up and stare at the wall until Anthony Hamilton sings me to sleep. It really sounds depressing, but that was the only time we could talk without interruptions and the truth really came out. That what made us grow closer and what essentially lead to us becoming intimate. I can’t pretend anymore like I don’t want a relationship. I’m usually not the relationship-type because I suck at them but I want to try it again. I can’t keep fucking with him (not literally) and pretend that I don’t want more. And I know that’s not what he wants. So, I need to wake up and realize who he is and that this predicament cannot go on any longer. I haven’t called him in over 24 hours…it might seem like a little, but it’s a step nonetheless. It’s a step… With all my thoughts and emotions, Crazee 10:01 p.m. - February 27, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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